Jokes for soldiers in training

Listing Results Jokes for soldiers in training

Just Now For instance; "Secure that building." Tell a marine that and he'll go kill everyone inside. Tell a soldier and he'll put up razor wire, sandbags, and machine gun nests. Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and …

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2 hours ago A policeman, an archer, and a soldier are on an airplane losing altitude. The pilot yells to these passengers, "We're carrying too much weight, drop whatever you got!" The policeman drops his pistol, the archer drops his bow and arrow, and …

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8 hours ago Military training is challenging and you have to have a sense of humor otherwise the constant negative feedback, living is close quarters with strangers, the chow hall food, the constant moving, marching, will get to the even most prepared. The good news is that these strangers will soon be life long friends and you can laugh at the good times

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5 hours ago

1. Military Hospital. An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks: “What’s your problem, Soldier?” “Chronic syphilis, Sir” “What treatment are you getting?”
2. Requesting a three day pass. An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass?
3. Hostile Happy Hour. What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.
4. Giving sad news to the troops. The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.”
5. Mickey & Donald. Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked.
6. Giving very odd excuses. The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily. “Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late.
7. Funny transcript of an actual military conversation. This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
8. Recruiting military pilots. The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services.
9. Soldier’s joke on his ex-girlfriend. The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
10. Private talking to a general. It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk.

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3 hours ago In desperation he grabbed his training manual and announced: 'The policy is to allow the seat to go to the uglier one.'. Both women stood for the remainder of the trip. upvote downvote report. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. …

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4 hours ago A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two kernals! 1. Those who aim torpedoes are always ready to press charges. Ideas for the top 41 military jokes were taken from the following sources.[1][2] [3][4] Share this Vet Friends – …

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5 hours ago Joke #14. A Soldier and a Marine were sitting next to each other on a plane. The Marine took off his boots and began to stretch out. The soldier swore under his breath at the Marine and told him he wanted to get up and get a drink. The Marine insisted that since he was in the aisle seat he would get it for him.

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4 hours ago A sailor tells a joke to two Marines. A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, “hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?”. The guy responds, “well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6-foot tall, I weigh 200 pounds, and I’m a Marine.”. “The guy sitting next to me,” he continues, “is 6′ 2

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Just Now 23. When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. – Comedian Dick Gregory. 22. A general calls a colonel: – Do you have a couple of smart majors? – Yes Sir, I do. – Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around.

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Just Now 1. New slogan "Army of One" replaces "Hope You Like Scrubbing Latrines!" WEIGHTY REASONS. A GI was alone in a train car. All of a sudden, a man broke in with a pistol pointed at the soldier. "Fork out your bucks, lad," the hold-up man demanded.

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4 hours ago The irate sergeant scrambled back up amid guffaws and barked, “Those who laughed, get down and give me 20!”. A.J. and some others fell to the ground quickly and …

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6 hours ago The military refers to a collection of all the armed forces of a particular country. There are many branches of the military. These involve the army, the navy, the air force, and other security forces.. The main job of the military is to provide the country's citizens absolute protection from both internal and external attacks. Major countries like the USA, India, Russia, …

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4 hours ago US Army Ranger School Selection & Training Course; US Army Ranger Assessment & Selection Programme (RASP) AFSOC: US Air Force Special Operations Command. Tag: Military Jokes. 31/10/2018 29/10/2018 by Andrew Marshall. Bad Military Joke (17) Di you hear about the soldier who stole a calendar? He got twelve months…

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1 hours ago 24. Emergency management: “Always remember that if one engine fails on a dual-engine plane, you’ll still have enough power to safely reach the scene of the crash.”. 25. Air Force Fact: The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire. 26. An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time.

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2 hours ago 3. A job well done. The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: "I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning." "Thank you very much, sir." 4. A perfect fit. A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. "Put up your hand if you are the laziest."

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4 hours ago The Joys of Basic Training. 5 Comments. Favorite this joke. Vote. Not Eligible To Win. My MTI (Military Training Instructor) once told me that I was outstanding I thanked him He then said that I was out standing in the sun too long and it affected my brain. CATEGORY Military Jokes.

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1 hours ago A Soldier, a Sailor, an Airman and a Marine got into an argument about which branch of the service was The Best. The arguing became so heated the four servicemen failed to see an oncoming truck as they crossed the street.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Are the soldier army jokes and puns offensive??

Many of the soldier army jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

What are the best military jokes on the Internet??

These are the best military jokes Internet has to offer, so do share them with your friends. 1. Military Hospital 2. Requesting a three day pass 3. Hostile Happy Hour 4. Giving sad news to the troops

Why do servicemen joke around??

These servicemen need a laughter bust once in a while to get their mission going. So joking around is quite a casual and common thing to do since they do such tough jobs.

Are there any funny jokes about the Navy??

Navy humor is one of a kind and is too funny to handle. It keeps the laughter-ship from sinking and gives you the best ride. We present to you the list of such hilarious and funny jokes about the navy that will make you laugh uncontrollably: 52. What did one sailor say to another? "We are in the same boat." 53.


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